Anxiety can feel debilitating, but there are a few things you can try to lessen its impact.
#1 — Accept you can’t control everything
The illusion of control underlies many psychological conditions. It keeps people stuck in the problem, trying to control the uncontrollable and running endless “what-if” scenarios that go nowhere.
But this isn’t about giving up control. It’s about understanding where your control actually is.
In psychology, an external locus of control is when someone believes their life is driven by outside forces. People, circumstances, or luck are seen as the cause of all their problems. That mindset leaves you reactive and powerless.
A more effective approach is an internal locus of control, recognising that while you can’t control every event, you can control how you respond to it.
You may not choose your initial emotional reaction, but you do choose which thoughts and feelings you give airtime. Ultimately, you control the thoughts you engage with and what you do next.
That’s where real control lives and that’s being greater than your environment.
Marcus Aurelius, the great Stoic philosopher, stated:
“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength”
Try to notice when you’re saying the following to yourself:
- How dare they treat me that way?
- I’m so unlucky.
- Why can’t they just have some common sense?
Label this as external locus of control and drop the thought. Redirect your focus internally instead and release any tension in your body.
Then, in the moment, identify what you can control and act on that. Let the rest be what it is, without getting pulled into it. Worry and panic never help.
And remember, practice makes perfect.
#2 — Catch your extreme thinking
Wild generalisations are an extreme thinking style that fuels anxiety. They take a single event and stretch it into something absolute. It’s inherently negative and tends to push everything to the extreme.
This kind of thinking is very common today. Many people adopt political, social, or religious views as if their life depends on them, often needing little evidence to justify fixed beliefs.
That same pattern is easily carried into everyday life, such as how events are interpreted, how situations are judged, and even how people see themselves.
Problems become absolute, without exception, and people often give up because of this extreme self-talk.
If you’re susceptible to this thinking style, notice when you say things like:
- I always have this problem!
- I’ve been depressed and anxious all my life!
- I will never be able to do that!
- Nothing ever goes right for me!
All of these statements come with an exclamation mark because they’re framed as final, without exception.
It’s important to challenge these extreme generalisations. If you’re honest, you’ll always be able to find exceptions.
It’s not possible for something to be “always” or “never,” all the time. Even someone who feels anxious has moments of calm and confidence.
The problem isn’t that you get anxious at times, the problem is the absolute thinking style that keeps reinforcing the distorted belief.
Catch this pattern and remind yourself of the exceptions.
And remember, practice makes perfect.
#3 — The future isn’t only negative
An expectation that the future is always bleak will guarantee anxiety.
If you tend to plan for the worst and hope for the least, you’ll gradually create a thinking pattern that keeps you hyper-focused on the future.
Negative expectancy and catastrophising future events are common psychological patterns that keep people stuck in survival mode.
A protective imagination was an effective trait thousands of years ago because it helped keep us safe. In modern society, however, it often just keeps us on edge and under constant stress.
Most people eventually realise that what they imagine rarely happens. The worst-case scenarios they repeatedly create in their minds usually turn out to be nothing more than a vivid imagination. Ironically, creative people often experience higher anxiety for this reason.
Optimists see possibilities, while pessimists see problems. As a result, optimists rarely suffer anxiety.
It’s important to catch negative expectancy and recognise it for what it is, an overactive imagination trying to protect you. Remind yourself that 99% of what you imagine will never happen.
Also, it’s not uncommon to see people overlook all the positives and fixate on a single insignificant negative event. This only fuels anxiety. Why not focus on the positive instead?
Surely the positives deserve some airtime too.
And remember, practice makes perfect.
#4 — Change your posture
When someone is experiencing anxiety, it’s common to see it reflected in their body posture. People often withdraw, look down, round their shoulders, and hold tension throughout the body.
When there’s a sense of hopelessness or a tendency to imagine worst-case scenarios, the body responds as if it needs to protect itself. While the mind can distinguish between real and imagined events, the body often reacts in similar ways.
Once you recognise anxiety-inducing thought patterns, the next step is to address the associated body posture. Otherwise, the tension can persist, breathing may become shallow, and the stress response can remain activated.
Straighten your back, take a slow breath, and redirect your attention in front of you.
Shifting into a more upright posture can improve alertness and allow your breathing to become more natural.
Adopting a more upright posture can help move you out of a withdrawn state and into greater engagement with what’s happening around you.
And remember, practice makes perfect.
